Superficial Surface Encounters

I don't know about you, but I meet new people almost every day; whether a brief encounter on the street, in a store or over the phone. Some people I'll meet and move on within minutes or even seconds. Some of them will be mere courtesy greetings or gestures. But some of these people I'll have a sustained conversation with; maybe a potential employer, the bank or perhaps someone I've got chatting to whilst sat down eating my lunch. And it's the latter I want to focus on today.

I am a sociable person. I love meeting new people. I love to talk. I love to listen. I love to find out about people - who they are, where they're from, what they like, what they don't like. I love to find shared passions and common ground or cry out in joking disgust when they're a fan of something I'm not. I love to part someone's company knowing that I could've just made a new friend. But how often is that actually the case?

I have met hundreds, if not thousands, of new people in the last few years just like the above. They come along, you get talking, you hang out and all is swell, you drift a bit, you chat on Facebook occasionally but it soon dries up, you bump into them when you're out, you nod or wave or shake hands or hug, you catch up, they say 'it's been too long', you say 'yeah it has', they say 'we should meet up sometime', you say 'definitely'. You know chances are that'll never happen but you might drop them a message saying it was good to see them and you get chatting a bit. The situation then repeats itself ad infinitum.

How many friendships do you have just like that? Sound familiar? I thought so. 

So what's going on?

Could be a case of Networking. Now networking is no bad thing. A lot of people do it intentionally and do well out of it, whilst others do it subconsciously or unknowingly. I am guilty of the former. I am a big networker. I meet some people and think 'Yes my good man, you may be of some use to me in the future' and I drop them in a big imaginary bucket labelled 'useful', with a little mental note to keep in contact with them just in case.

People network for a plethora of reasons; jobs, social status, fame, hot friends, party invites - a whole host of things from the massive to the mundane. The only thing they have in common is that they all want something out of you. For example, ladies and gentleman, you would be surprised to know just how many people stay in touch with happily taken people just to target them should they ever become single. That's networking. Or perhaps a more apt name would be 'bookmarking'. And you're probably guilty of that yourself, right?

I've been networked a silly amount of times because of my involvement in Events, in particular Freshers Week and club nights. I wonder just how many people stayed in contact with me for the possibility of free entry, free drinks or VIP access. I have received an abundance of messages in the last few years from people I've not spoken to in forever, asking if I could 'hook them up' with something. And I'm sure you have also been networked for whatever you have to offer. If you don't think you have anything to offer other than your wonderful friendship and don't think anyone's been networking you, chances are you've been at least bookmarked.

Alternatively, not progressing in friendship could simply be because you are not compatible as anything more than acquaintances or loose friends.

How often do people step into our lives and become our best friends or loved ones?

I went through three years of university where everyone knew my name. Yet I've come out the other side with just 2 or 3 people I would consider as close friends who I can see being around in the years to come; friends who I chat to often, who I miss when they're not around, who I can talk to about my troubles, share things with and who I can trust to put me right if I'm wrong. What makes these people different from any other? Beats me. But something, somewhen happened and our lives became entwined.

Friends at work? Would you even be sat there with them on your lunch if you didn't work with them?

Catching up with someone you used to know? Would you even be catching up if you hadn't awkwardly bumped into each other?

Don't get me wrong, my point isn't to question every friendship you have or to turn your back on people because you haven't spoken in a while - people get caught up in their lives and sometimes people drift. There is also nothing wrong with being friends with someone because circumstance would have it so. I stand as a firm believer that you can never have enough friends - to any degree of attachment. I also believe there are exceptions to the points I've made and that there is a grey area.

My point (finally) is to be thankful for the relationships you have which are special; which are deeper than superficial surface encounters and networking. To value the family, friends and lovers in your life who you share that je ne sais quoi with. That something which means you know they get you; that they'll love you no matter how ridiculous you look or how awful that joke was; that they will stand by you through thick and thin; that they will be around not only to see you progress through life but to help you in any way they can. Be grateful for those people with whom you can talk to or joke about things which you're sure the whole of society would shun you for if spoken aloud. And those people who make all the world's troubles disappear when you're with them.

Tell these people you love them, support them, hug them often, don't let the sun set on an argument and don't leave them behind when you step out on your life journey.

Afterall, such relationships are a rarity. You should treat them as such.

Whilst on the topic of motivation...

...Have some motivational quotes which see me through when times get a little rough or when I'm lacking inspiration to live my life.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

- Harvey Fierstein

“Our greatest glory consist not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

- Oliver Goldsmith

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

- Henry Ford

"If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up."

- J.M. Power

"The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground."

- Author Unknown

"One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in."

- Wayne Gretzky

“Fortune favours the brave.”

- Publius Terence

"Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away."

- Persian Proverb

“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - which is: Try to please everybody.”

- Herbert Bayard Swope

"With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

"Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy"

“Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage. “

- Barak Obama

"I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''

- Mahummad Ali

"To unpathed waters, undreamed shores."

- William Shakepeare

"If the wind will not serve, take to the oars."

"In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends."

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man be perfected without trials."

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."

- Helen Keller

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

- Harold R. McAlindon

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy shit! What a ride!"

- Hunter S. Thompson

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."

—William Arthur Ward

"What do I fear? I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten... the past... yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down. I fear settling, giving in to the 'that's just the way it is' mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive. I love my fear."

The Truth Behind What Motivates Me.

So I've been asked recently why I do it. When I'm sat there with serious DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness), struggling to make it up and down the stairs or lift my arms - I'm asked why I put myself through it. When checking the nutritional information of everything I eat and drink - I'm asked why I bother, aren't I just being a little pedantic? When I'm drinking a protein shake with Creatine & BCAA's and all but gagging; when I'm stepping out for a run in the pouring rain and cold; when my hands are callused and hard - people are always asking me why I do it. 

So why do I do it?

1. I do it because of them. 

They sit there with their junk food and their television and their carbonated drinks and their internet. They go out on their binges and they sleep all day. They bathe in their own feebleness and fragility. They mock me for my weight gloves, my shakes, my vests and my supplements. But they just want to bring me down to their own level of uninspired weakness. They tell me it's not worth it. They try and pull me off my chosen path to a better me and when they fail they label me with vanity and arrogance. They live unaware that is infact me mocking them as I progress further and further away from them as I grow stronger, bigger, faster and more powerful than they could even comprehend my body would be capable of. 

2. I do it because of who I used to be.

I was once one of them. I was a slave to what I saw as my limits. I succumbed to the binges and the junk at the sake of my health, confidence and pride. When I finally saw the light, I went into working out blindly without knowledge and as a result I ended up at an unhealthy weight feeling sick all the time. My confidence all but disappeared entirely and I settled for what I was; weak. But one day something hit me, and that same thing sticks with me even now. It drives me. It is my fuel. It is renewable and is most certainly sustainable. And that, readers, is the fear of weakness. It is a raging fire burning inside of me which says I will never be weak again. It is a testament to the man I am now and the man I will be in the years to come. It serves as a reminder to everyone that I am no longer to be fucked with and I will no longer take your shit, and a warning to all those people who I would once have questioned fucking with that they will most certainly be fucked with now. It says that I will not back down and I will never surrender. It says that I will fight til the bitter end defending what I love and it says I WILL WIN.

Every last rep I push out whilst my body is screaming at me to stop is a big "fuck you" to everyone who pounded on me, who held me back, who left me behind, who failed me and who stood in my way. Including myself.

3. I do it for so much more.

I do it for the progression. I do it to see my charts go through the roof. For my before and after picture comparisons to be baffling. For the compliments that never grow old. For the shock and awe on the faces of people I've not seen for a while. For the sex appeal. For the 'this is what you could've had'. For the strength. For the power. For the confidence. For how safe I feel in my skin. For how alive I feel when finishing a session. For the making of new friends. For the achievement. For the realization of dreams; lifting something and looking like I could have only dreamt just weeks ago. For me. For you. For her. And for so much more.

And some of you might take all of this as arrogance - believe me, you're not alone. Arrogant is a word I hear all too often. But I don't see it as arrogance. It isn't arrogance to enjoy the fruit of your labours or to reap what you've sewn. I have worked fucking hard to be where I am now. I have poured blood, sweat and tears into the fire and out of it I have forged a new and better me. I have had my ups and I have most certainly had my downs. I have failed a thousand times and will fail a thousand more. But I get back up and I keep pushing because I know that I will get there in the end. I will see people fail, give up and fall by the wayside but I will keep on going where they could not. I will set a goal and hammer and hammer and hammer away until I smash it and then I'll set another.

I walk like a king. Perhaps not as one, but in the knowledge that I one day will be.

2 Year Weight

Click to enlarge

This is my weight over the period of around 2.5 years. It began with me at my heaviest in my Freshers year - holding onto a lot of 'freshers flab' from all the boozing. 

You can clearly see where I began running a lot and started losing weight, and where it continued to come off until I was at an unhealthy weight. 

You can then see where I start bulking. Notice how the line isn't as steep as the weight loss angle - this is because packing on muscle is much harder than losing fat.

You can even see where my weight dipped again during my time in Bristol in September when working Freshers Week haha. 

And now (although most recent weights aren't in this image), I'm pleased to say I'm at the heaviest I have ever been and it's all muscle.

Onwards and upwards from here.

I will finish this routine up in 5 weeks. I will then be a on 2-3 week 'cut' where I'll burn away all the inevitable fat build up you make whilst bulking and get nice and lean (just in time for Winter, eh?). Then I'll see how I'm looking and no doubt start a new bulk over the cold winter.

Next goal is the 75kg mark which I should hit within a couple of weeks. And then we're looking to the 80kg. 

I'm putting on roughly 0.8kg a week. 5 more weeks * 0.8kg = 4kg. So hopefully I can be about 77kg before I finish this routine. I'll then cut down to about 75kg probably. And then have just 5 weeks left til Christmas! Holy hell, is that it?! 

By the new year I'll be 80kg and ready to hit the beachers. In January. Let's hope I'm in Australia!

Want!

 

How To Train Your Dragon: Superb film!

She Knows

She knows what she’s put me through and what she continues to put me through even now. She knows how miserable she made me and how much I suffered for her leaving. She knows it’s not every day that you fall in love with your best friend. And she knows that she’s thrown away something which people spend their lives searching for and often never find.

I want her to know that I would give anything to have a lazy afternoon spent cuddled on the sofa like we used to. These times, whilst happy, seemed so insignificant in the moment; but I now relish the thought of such normality with her. I want her to know that every part of me still craves her touch. And that I still struggle to fall asleep at night without her next to me. I want her to know that while my smile may look the same to others; it is not the same smile I smiled when I was with her. I want her to know I see her face in every weight at the gym and the anger pushes me through the pain. I want her to know I see her face in the bottom of every glass and the pain pushes another into my hand. I want her to know I see her in the way that I act and I hear her in the way that I speak - she echoes inside of me.

But what I need her to know is that what I’d do to get her back bares no boundaries or limits. I need her to know that not a single hour has passed in all this time that I haven’t thought about her. I need her to know she parted my heart from my chest when she left, carrying it with her all those thousands of miles where it rests with her to this day. I need her to know that in the darker times she might face, I’ll stand as light, and I need her to know that when times seem hard, there is someone here who would lay down everything they had just to see her smile again. I need her to know that while she bounces from place to place searching for whatever it is she’s searching for, she will always have a home in my heart.

I need her to know I miss her.

She chose her dream over me - for which I cannot blame her at all. I understand why she’s done what she’s done but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. The more I think about it, the more I realise that our relationship was only just beginning. I wish we could have seen what life had in store for us.

I wish she didn’t go.