The Masochistic Misanthropist
....Probably a more apt name for my life blog at the moment.
2. Don't handle chillis and then put your contact lenses in, regardless of how many times you've washed your hands.
3. A big homemade curry before the gym is not a good idea.
4. No matter where you go, the worlds worst drivers will have followed you there.
5. You have road rage issues. Address this at some point.
6. More often than not, people who judge you aren't worth impressing anyway. Fact.
7. Exercise does not take time, it creates time. (Not to mention sex appeal)
8. No one in the world works right up to 5pm. 4.50pm is an acceptable time to start wrapping up. 'No point starting anything now' is an acceptable excuse. Better go to the toilet before the drive home too, right? And your papers need to be piled nicely. Not to mention the essential rearranging of the shortcuts on your desktop. Mouse hovers over the Shutdown button at 4.57pm. "Right... Have a good evening!" Out by 4.58pm.
9. You are blessed with good health and working legs. Take the stairs.
10. Stop racing to your car at the end of the day. A minutes difference won't get you ahead of the rush hour. You'll just end up falling down the stairs.
11. Buy your summer clothes in the winter and your winter clothes in the summer, as clearly shops expect you to do this.
12. Meet new people.
13. Make friends with said new people.
14. Stop buying sandwich's from the sandwich man at work when you know you don't even like them!
15. Stop eating things just because they're there.
16. Address will-power issues.
17. Living for the weekend is no way to spend a life. Do something about it.
18. Remember: The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
19. Stop being a girl and go to the dentist!
20. A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
21. Find the guy doing all the rain dances and tell him to LAY OFF.
22. Give in to the realization that you will, henceforth, analyze every person on every flight you take for the rest of your life, wondering, if we crash and are stranded on a tropical island full of unexplained phenomenon, who would be the leader?
23. Write more.
24. She likes you. And you know why? Cos you are a neat guy. You are the man. You are THE MAN. Still got it! You're just a love machine. HOURGHHHHHHHHH!
25. Don't be afraid to take chances. A la Doctor Pepper, what's the worst that could happen?
26. Give credit where it's due.
27. And to that end - thank the guy who created Notes to Self for supplying a couple of the (funniest) points here, for inspiring my own list and for entertaining me to no end the last few days.
28. Pay more compliments and they will be returned in kind.
29. Find someone to have a crush on.
30. Lead a successful campaign to bring back good manners.
6. More often than not, people who judge you aren't worth impressing anyway. Fact.
7. Exercise does not take time, it creates time. (Not to mention sex appeal)
8. No one in the world works right up to 5pm. 4.50pm is an acceptable time to start wrapping up. 'No point starting anything now' is an acceptable excuse. Better go to the toilet before the drive home too, right? And your papers need to be piled nicely. Not to mention the essential rearranging of the shortcuts on your desktop. Mouse hovers over the Shutdown button at 4.57pm. "Right... Have a good evening!" Out by 4.58pm.
9. You are blessed with good health and working legs. Take the stairs.
10. Stop racing to your car at the end of the day. A minutes difference won't get you ahead of the rush hour. You'll just end up falling down the stairs.
11. Buy your summer clothes in the winter and your winter clothes in the summer, as clearly shops expect you to do this.
12. Meet new people.
13. Make friends with said new people.
14. Stop buying sandwich's from the sandwich man at work when you know you don't even like them!
15. Stop eating things just because they're there.
16. Address will-power issues.
17. Living for the weekend is no way to spend a life. Do something about it.
18. Remember: The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
19. Stop being a girl and go to the dentist!
20. A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
21. Find the guy doing all the rain dances and tell him to LAY OFF.
22. Give in to the realization that you will, henceforth, analyze every person on every flight you take for the rest of your life, wondering, if we crash and are stranded on a tropical island full of unexplained phenomenon, who would be the leader?
23. Write more.
24. She likes you. And you know why? Cos you are a neat guy. You are the man. You are THE MAN. Still got it! You're just a love machine. HOURGHHHHHHHHH!
25. Don't be afraid to take chances. A la Doctor Pepper, what's the worst that could happen?
26. Give credit where it's due.
27. And to that end - thank the guy who created Notes to Self for supplying a couple of the (funniest) points here, for inspiring my own list and for entertaining me to no end the last few days.
28. Pay more compliments and they will be returned in kind.
29. Find someone to have a crush on.
30. Lead a successful campaign to bring back good manners.
31. Cherish the joy felt when driving along, windows down, music blaring, singing as loud as you possibly can and not giving a damn who hears you. True freedom.
32. Appreciate all those drivers who thank you for thanking them when letting you pass.
33. Time permitting; persue, catch and beat manners into all those drivers who don't thank you for letting them pass.
34. Never play Beer Pong with Vodka ever again.
35. Continue to find it hilarious that people were convinced you are in the Special Forces.
36. Chocolate Digestives are, rather strangely, quite good for a hangover it would seem.
37. Stop slacking on the diet.
38. When given the choice, don't agree to last minute interviews which require a portfolio of your design, HTML AND events work. Not to mention prepared answers for competency & scenario questions and an understanding of what the company is. You will be stressed. However, said stress will create good artwork.
39. Design more.
40. Finish your online portfolio.
41. Business cards. 'Nuff said.
42. Have an epiphany. Don't care what about.
43. Find a way to convince the love of your life to come back.
44. If 43 fails, find a way to move on.
45. Set a deadline for 43.
46. Undertake a DIY project.
47. Do yourself a favour and get your head around what the HELL taxes are all about.
48. Walk to Paris.
49. No matter how thinly you slice it, there will always be two sides.
50. For most, a job is an inconvenience, that's why you get paid for it. Imagine the beauty in being paid to do something you love. Jealous much?
51. Day time naps = dribble city.
52. Religion (or lack thereof) shouldn't be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except you.
53. Learn some Parkour/Free Running. It. Is. Awesome.
54. Some things are timeless and appeal to the inner child in all of us, no matter how old we are. These include thunder storms, lightning, snow, hail, torrential rain and other adverse weather conditions; playing 'don't let the balloon touch the ground!'; driving through puddles; power cuts; BALL PITS and many more.
55. Research into whether Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was based on real technology. If so, consider using it.
56. Take great joy and satisfication at the LARGE spanner you will put in the works when handing in your week's notice.
57. Find SOMEWHERE that sells black check shirts. Like this, but not sold out goddammit!
58. Quote more How I Met Your Mother.
59. Stop neglecting writing real blogs whilst writing this.
60. Go to bed.
61. If you snoop around long enough for something in particular you're guaranteed to find it - for better or worse. That's how I learned it's best to just keep some things private.
62. Never underestimate the power and value of the hand-written letter.
63. Universal Truths.
65. Guildford much, much more.
66. Life changing revelations can occur at any time, even through the most obscure occurances and scenarios.
67. Stop thinking your phone goes off during that one point in that one song. You do it EVERY time.
68. A new time in your life calls for a new fragrance to associate these times with when smelling it in the future. (Much akin to Joop! Jump reminding you of Freshers)
69. More :D
70. You will never find someone who can give you a clear and compelling reason as to why we observe daylight savings time.
71. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Updated as and when I need to remind myself of something :D 32. Appreciate all those drivers who thank you for thanking them when letting you pass.
33. Time permitting; persue, catch and beat manners into all those drivers who don't thank you for letting them pass.
34. Never play Beer Pong with Vodka ever again.
35. Continue to find it hilarious that people were convinced you are in the Special Forces.
36. Chocolate Digestives are, rather strangely, quite good for a hangover it would seem.
37. Stop slacking on the diet.
38. When given the choice, don't agree to last minute interviews which require a portfolio of your design, HTML AND events work. Not to mention prepared answers for competency & scenario questions and an understanding of what the company is. You will be stressed. However, said stress will create good artwork.
39. Design more.
40. Finish your online portfolio.
41. Business cards. 'Nuff said.
42. Have an epiphany. Don't care what about.
43. Find a way to convince the love of your life to come back.
44. If 43 fails, find a way to move on.
45. Set a deadline for 43.
46. Undertake a DIY project.
47. Do yourself a favour and get your head around what the HELL taxes are all about.
48. Walk to Paris.
49. No matter how thinly you slice it, there will always be two sides.
50. For most, a job is an inconvenience, that's why you get paid for it. Imagine the beauty in being paid to do something you love. Jealous much?
51. Day time naps = dribble city.
52. Religion (or lack thereof) shouldn't be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except you.
53. Learn some Parkour/Free Running. It. Is. Awesome.
54. Some things are timeless and appeal to the inner child in all of us, no matter how old we are. These include thunder storms, lightning, snow, hail, torrential rain and other adverse weather conditions; playing 'don't let the balloon touch the ground!'; driving through puddles; power cuts; BALL PITS and many more.
55. Research into whether Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was based on real technology. If so, consider using it.
56. Take great joy and satisfication at the LARGE spanner you will put in the works when handing in your week's notice.
57. Find SOMEWHERE that sells black check shirts. Like this, but not sold out goddammit!
58. Quote more How I Met Your Mother.
59. Stop neglecting writing real blogs whilst writing this.
60. Go to bed.
61. If you snoop around long enough for something in particular you're guaranteed to find it - for better or worse. That's how I learned it's best to just keep some things private.
62. Never underestimate the power and value of the hand-written letter.
63. Universal Truths.
- Sharpning a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
- Everyone always remembers the day when a dog ran in to their school.
- It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.
65. Guildford much, much more.
66. Life changing revelations can occur at any time, even through the most obscure occurances and scenarios.
67. Stop thinking your phone goes off during that one point in that one song. You do it EVERY time.
68. A new time in your life calls for a new fragrance to associate these times with when smelling it in the future. (Much akin to Joop! Jump reminding you of Freshers)
69. More :D
70. You will never find someone who can give you a clear and compelling reason as to why we observe daylight savings time.
71. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
NB: Most of these are my own. Some are inspired by others. Some are straight up stolen from other sites but I felt they'd be good lessons for us all so included them here.
Here's a comparison between Pre-Skinny and Post-Skinny, both roughly around the 10st 5lbs mark. (Maybe a bit heavier now).
The first picture was taken in Magaluf in 2008, just after I lost the 'Freshers Fat'. The latter taken a week or so ago.
I even tried to recreate the pose! Haha. Finally filling out a little bit! Woop.
Not going to reveal too much just yet, but travelling is coming together. Starting to set things in motion now.
Watch this space for info. But know that I'll be away for anywhere between 1 and 3 years - Longer if I decide to work in multiple countries which is definately on the cards.
Admittedly, I'm scared at the prospect of doing it alone and completely dumbfounded by the length of time I'll be away - even just a year seems like such a long time - but I am massively excited.
Who knows. Maybe I'll find me a nice, hot Australian lass and never come back!
...Or Canadian, Fijian, Kiwi, American or any nationality from any other country I might or might not end up in.
I'd leave right now if I had the money!
Watch this space for info. But know that I'll be away for anywhere between 1 and 3 years - Longer if I decide to work in multiple countries which is definately on the cards.
Admittedly, I'm scared at the prospect of doing it alone and completely dumbfounded by the length of time I'll be away - even just a year seems like such a long time - but I am massively excited.
Who knows. Maybe I'll find me a nice, hot Australian lass and never come back!
...Or Canadian, Fijian, Kiwi, American or any nationality from any other country I might or might not end up in.
I'd leave right now if I had the money!
So yeah. Here's a quick front comparison. I will get proper pics soon in the same posture etc for an accurate comparison. But this is just to show the overall progress I've made.
It's odd. I still consider myself quite skinny. But when I look at that picture there, it's actually quite gross and I'm sure you'll agree! I look deathly thin. Much better now!
Still a long way to go. Just starting 4-6 weeks of some serious gaining with a few more supplements than I normally take - just to bust through my current plateau. After that (or when I run out of supps - not wasting 'em, they're fecking expensive) I'll resume back to just the protein.
All along trying not to gain any fat so am trying to eat right. I'm a changed man now compared to what I was just a months ago with regard to snacking. I would pig out on biscuits, chocolate, crisps, ice creams every day - convincing myself that cos I was working out it was okay. But now I've cut it out dramatically. Was hard at first but cravings soon went away. I still allow myself a cheat day every week where I can eat what I want. What's the point in working so hard if you can never reward yourself or have stuff you like?
So then after this bulk up, will be off the carbs (or lowering them anyway) and trying to cut my body fat percentage right down. Then we might be getting somewhere!
All in time for me to go travelling and completely fuck the diet and the working out and lose all the gains I've made! haha. Least I'll be smoking hot for the beaches for a little while though! Besides, I'm sure they have gyms. If not, bodyweight circuits it is.
Best girl I ever knew.
Best relationship I ever had.
I don't want to talk about it anymore just yet.
Best relationship I ever had.
I don't want to talk about it anymore just yet.
Recently started a new job. After a fairly lengthy drought of applying for hundreds of jobs and getting nothing back, I jumped at the opportunity to be back making some money again. More so because I need to get some money away for travelling next year. Yet somehow I've landed myself in another job which is hardly worth the money when being as miserable as I am there. Half of me says lifes too short to be so miserable at work and that I can't put up with it for much longer (after a couple of days!). I'm 22 years old and it's about time I was doing something decent. I'm not some 16 year old work experience temp people can dump their unwanted work on. The other half says just to keep at it and think of the money.
I arrived to be told that the job I applied for (Data & Subscriptions stuff - boring as it would be!), wouldn't need doing for a few months yet. So instead they directed me to a vast array of archive boxes full of loose papers and yep, you guessed it - I have the pleasure of sorting through them all! Sorting out what needs to be shredded and what doesn't judging by what it is and when it's from! Hurrraaahhhh!!! Doing that for four hours yesterday, paper by paper for thousands and thousands of sheets, was enough. Going back in again today and following it up for a further 7 hours for pushing it. And THEN, boy o boy, I get to sort out what we're keeping and put it all into date order too!! And remember, we're talking what must be a couple of thousand papers per box x 30 or so boxes.
At first they tried to get me to shred all the old stuff too on some ancient shredder which only took 4 pieces of paper simultaneously and had to be emptied every 45 seconds or so. In an unventilated room. With the shredder coughing up so much paper dust. Covering all my brand new business clothes with shit (even though that was after I'd sat on the floor and lugged boxes around in them too), covering my hair in shit, making me cough my guts up. One box later (which amounted to about 5 big bin liners of shredded paper), I'd had enough. Kicked up a fuss and they decided they'd outsource it to a shredders for £60.
And I've been told that once I finish all this mind numbing paper sorting (assuming I don't break before then and try to paper cut myself to death), I get to do some MAIL MERGEE!!!! And WRITE SOME ENVELOPES!!!... I can't help but feel this is below me. Especially seeing as I had to do tests in excel and telephone manner at the interview!
I feel perhaps providing me with a thousand pens to sort into colours would have been a more accurate test.
I've applied for other jobs and am praying that something turns up soon. Either way, even if nothing comes up, I can't see this lasting more than a week or so.
So far got by with using Skype Twitter and Facebook on my phone as I'm by myself in the corner of the room out of range of prying eyes. Seems a shame to have to go back to the desks where I can't fuck about. Every cloud I suppose.
Anyway. I know it seems ungrateful to be so hateful of a job in this day and age and in this 'economic environment' and the recession blah blah, but my god, I'm so sick of doing these shit jobs. It's about time I done something I enjoy or at least am interested in. Or something which at least challenges me a bit. "It's Money" is only a valid excuse for unhappiness for so long. You're more than welcome to see how long you'll last sorting mountains of loose papers if you care for my job. Swap you? :D
The people aren't great either.
Rant over!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
